The circle of life. We're born, we live, we die.
It is one of the hardest things a person has to come to terms with.
I consider myself very lucky.
I am 26 years old and up till now, I've never had to face the terrifying fact that, one day, I will die. And with the subject of death coming up in every other conversation I've had for two weeks, I've really started re-evaluating a few things about my life.
Like:
1. Letting go of trying to control things.
2. Letting go of being a people pleaser.
3. Letting go of a sense of entitlement.
4. Letting go of resentment.
5. Letting go of my pride.
6. Letting go of negativity.
7. Letting go of an attachment to money.
8. Letting go of expectations.
9. Letting go of fear.
10. Letting of yesterday and tomorrow.
Wait a second...
Why am I be talking about such a depressing and un-entertaining subject like death on my blog?
Well, I'll tell you why...
The precious gem that I have the honor of calling my grandmother is named Raleigh Schultz. She was born in 1933 in Minneapolis but grew up in Hollywood, California.
Two Fun Facts about Grammie:
One: she had the fortune of walking down Wilshire Blvd. past the La Brea Tar Pits every day before they built the museum.
Two: She met my grandfather at a party when she was 19 years old and they eloped a few months later.
What can I say, the women goes after what she wants! She has been the sassiest, most independently strong women I've ever known.
She is now 82 years young and until now I considered her to be immortal.
I am the first grandchild out of six, so, of course, I am her favorite.
Wait ... that came out wrong.
Let me try again... (Clear throat)
I am the first grandchild, therefore, I assume that I am her favorite/most perfect grandchild.
I am the first grandchild out of six, so, of course, I am her favorite.
Wait ... that came out wrong.
Let me try again... (Clear throat)
I am the first grandchild, therefore, I assume that I am her favorite/most perfect grandchild.
Ok, now that it's been covered, let's move on.
My grandmother, who is my best friend, was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin lymphoma. This cancer attacks your lymphocytes, which are part of your immune system. She had been in recession for 10 years and a day before I left for Seattle, the doctor's told us that it had come back with a vengeance and to expect only six month to two years left with her. The doctor's explained that the cancer had become very aggressive and that it had invaded 90 percent of her right lung, 50 percent of her left lung, had moved into her blood stream and is now attacking her spleen.
When I arrived back from Seattle, the doctor's told me that she has been given a month. A MONTH!! Hearing that made my heart stop. What am I going to do without her? I know that it's just a timeline and that sometimes they are wrong, but the fact that it is inevitable, makes me speechless.
So, for the past two weeks, it's been doctor appointments, chemo treatments, anxious phone calls and no sleep for this girl.
When I arrived back from Seattle, the doctor's told me that she has been given a month. A MONTH!! Hearing that made my heart stop. What am I going to do without her? I know that it's just a timeline and that sometimes they are wrong, but the fact that it is inevitable, makes me speechless.
So, for the past two weeks, it's been doctor appointments, chemo treatments, anxious phone calls and no sleep for this girl.
Today I needed some inspiration. I posted some pictures to help me know I'm not the only one going through this. If you need some inspiration, I hope this post will help you know that you are not alone. If you need someone to talk with, comment below! My friends and family have been so supportive throughout this whole process and I hope that I can do the same for someone else.
This is my grandmother! Isn't she beautiful!
This is my MANTRA
This is how I feel on a daily basis
This is how I feel about my mother, who has been so strong for all of us.
This is how I feel about my friends
This is how my view on life has changed
xoxo
@Themessthatmatters
If you want to know the colors for the many different cancers:
